Hey all...a lot has happened since I last blogged, and I finally had to take a step back to regroup. It is pretty intense meeting up with all of these people from my past, and revisiting so many important events from my past with a new perspective. It is very powerful, and important, but it is exhausting in a way that you can only really understand if you are putting yourself out there day after day and experiencing it first hand.
I am running into a lot of challenges lately. It is very hard for me to write authentically, and also respect the privacy of the people I am visiting. Although everything I blog about is true...I am finding that the biggest epiphanys, and the most colorful experiences are not appropriate for a public blog. For anyone that knows me at all, you know that sincerity, authenticity, and respect for people are my highest values. It is a fierce juggling act to get all of those right for my blog. A lot of times there is so much left out that I wonder if it is even possible to approach a project like this authenticly.
To make blogging matters even more challenging, or even impossible... during a tax call with my ex-husband recently, he mentioned that he reads my blog, and he talked about all the things I write about during our call. Apparently, he found out from a friend of one of my friends that I am blogging, and they gave him the site address. Although it was "innocent enough" it wasn't innocent enough to have Kevin reveal the name of the person who gave him all the information. I am very good at living in denial, and I probably knew he was reading my blog...but hearing him bring up the experiences I write about (but chose not to share with him personally), totally eliminated my ability to write as if all my words were not being shared directly with my ex-husband. This trip, in many ways, is about breaking free from that relationship, and rediscovering myself. I can still do that, but, unfortunately, not in the way I have been.
It is possible for me to set up my blog so that each person must register with blogspot in order to read my updates...with a limit of 100 readers. That sounds like way too many steps and hoops, and far too limiting for the purposes I would like to blog in the first place. So... I have decided to end my blog here. I wanted to explain why I came to this decision, and at the same time, I want to minimize drama...so, any comments to my last blog will be for my viewing only.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for your support...it meant a lot.
Fondly,
Julia
