Day 3. Finally, a place to lay our heads.

June 29th.

After our harrowing ordeal, Krista, George and I enjoyed a very sound sleep that went into the afternoon. We went to Broadway and 67th to get my AAA membership, and again, I ran into the problem of not having an address. Krista offered to have it mailed to her place, and the AAA representative tried to sell us a couple's membership upon learning we both had the same address. He asked all kinds of questions about who used the car more often, and suddenly I felt like a bourgeois wife again.

That quickly ended when we went out for cocktails at some upper West side mall restaurant. In almost any other part of the country, mall culture is an ugly American thing...but in the upper West side, an ordinary mall is anything but ordinary. The five thousand pound sculptures of fat ladies plopped in front of Smith and Hawkins really added that extra something.

It was wonderful to walk around Manhattan window shopping, drink hopping, and catching up. The first day of our reunion was anything but relaxing. Krista and I go back a long way. We have always remained very close even though we have had long periods of being out of touch. We met 18 years ago at a crappy job, Finn McCool's in Port Washington. We were bus girls, and the indignity of being accused of everything from being stupid and lazy to stealing silverware really brought us together. That was one of the most notoriously unpleasant jobs in Port Washington. Krista and I have had very similar challenges in our family lives, and even though we have done very different things with our lives since we met, on a very important level, we are very similar and will always be able to relate to each other. It is so reassuring to see her again and know that is still the case.

Day 2, getting kicked out of a hotel room isn't as glamorous as it sounds.

After a surprisingly terrific 20th High School reunion, my smooth sailing journey came to a halt. I wasn't able to find a pet friendly hotel near the reunion and I have this monster SUV, so I thought I would be very clever and crash out in my vehicle. After all, it solved the drinking and driving dilemma, and I already know money is going to be a challenge, so I thought I would be a high class hobo and crash out in my luxury SUV. This plan was pure genius until my cat thought he would mix things up by peeing outside of the box. This led to an urgent laundry crisis and an untimely end to my beloved down comforter. I have never washed a more horrendous load of laundry, so I used a lot of extra soap. About ten minutes after the wash cycle started, I managed to flood the laundromat and an emergency squad of laundromat workers were called in with mops and towels to contain the situation. So much for “high class hobo”. In one night I completely downgraded the status of Lexus drivers and hobos everywhere. Still, even this level of shame wasn't enough to take me down. The day was young.

I went to hang out with Rachel Young and her husband David at their parent's new house. I hadn't seen Rachel for about 20 years. She is now married to a great guy, David. Rachel and I were best friends from first grade through Junior High, and the difference in my image of her and the reality of her now was quite surreal. I don't think I will ever get used to the idea of seeing her as a mother and wife. I will always have to remind myself that she isn't a ten year old girl scout. Rachel's mom, Susan was exactly as I remembered her...still the “cool mom”. It was great to see her too.

It was so strange to be back in Port Washington. I lived there until I was 18, and then for a few years when I was going to NYU and working in Manhasset. I have been back one time in the past 13 years to go to my Mary's father's funeral, but I have tried to avoid it ever since. Port Washington looked so unfamiliar to me because I was such a different person when I left. Since then, I have lived all over the country, had all kinds of jobs and experiences and met all kinds of people that have absolutely nothing to do with Port Washington. At first, returning to it, I felt like a stranger because my life had nothing to do with it outside of past references. I could recall the thoughts I had as a kid when I saw different parts of town and I couldn't relate to that person either. Oddly enough, after the humiliating experience at the laundromat, and catching up with Rachel and eating BBQ with her parents and kids, I started to feel like I was part of the community again. The streets and parks and landmarks actually looked familiar again, and Port Washington started to become a comforting reminder of who I was. I still didn't drive by my childhood house. The ten year old in me just can't accept that someone else had the nerve to buy it and move in, and create their own memories there.

These experiences would have been so much easier processed if I had more than a few hours of sleep in the past week. There is something about driving 3,000 miles, moving out of your home, and diving head-first into your past in the course of a week that can be somewhat exhausting. There was no doubt whatsoever...I needed a real bed to sleep in that night. So, I met Krista at the train station and we drove to Eastern Long Island to find a room. Again, no pet friendly hotels to be found...so, after several hours we decided to sneak George into the next place we found, the Courtyard Marriot somewhere near Smithtown. It was so great to finally have a room. A shower never felt better, a bed never felt more comfortable, and the feeling of my guard coming down was like a religious experience.

Krista and I smuggled George in through the stairs. We had a room on the fourth floor, and carrying our cat and his 40 pound cat box (I tried to save room in the car, so I loaded up his box with kitty litter to the very top and it was almost impossible to carry). We thought we were pretty savvy using back doors and back stairwells to pull off our covert operation. We celebrated our victory with wine and pay TV. All was wonderful for about an hour until the knock of doom pounded on our door. “Security! We have to check your room for animals. We reviewed the security cameras and saw you bringing a cage-like box into your room”.

Krista's idea was to hide George in the refrigerator, and my idea was to fess up, we'd been caught...time to face the music. The security guard said we would have to leave immediately and go to the front desk to settle things. Every muscle in my body ached, and I didn't think I had the energy to lift my own arms in the air, never mind pack up and carry that damned cat box down four flights of stairs. The party was officially over. We did our walk of shame back down the stairs, with the monster litter box, suitcases and George while being stared at disapprovingly by hotel security and housekeeping staff. It was completely humiliating, and I finally cracked when I realized I dropped my car key somewhere along the way. I was way too exhausted to handle this. I proceeded to bawl uncontrollably in the parking lot. Just when I thought nothing could get worse, security came to my car and announced they would have to charge us for the room and add a cleaning fee. Kevin, the hotel manager, seemed to take personal pleasure in adding on extra fees for things. It was obvious I was in no condition to protest, so he tacked on about $300 for what, I have no idea. I am pretty sure that he took personal pride in fleecing the crying cat smuggler before he sent me on my way. What a discouraging way to start my trip. I was starting to revisit my lingering doubts about having the strength to pull this off, or to afford this endeavor, or to get support from others along the way.

Originally, I felt I couldn't stay with Krista because I didn't want to risk her no-pets lease, but given our lack of options we drove back to Manhattan and took our chances for the night. As exhausted and spent as I was, I just could not cough up $42 for parking plus a $10 SUV charge, plus tax. So, I parked on the street and woke up three hours later to move my car in the morning. What a day.

Day 1

Oh my goodness! I am way to exhausted to be eloquent. Good ideas and enthusiasm have gotten me really far, but they take me to the strangest places. I went to my 20th High School reunion last night. I have not been in my hometown of Port Washington, New York in about ten years...I have no idea what I was hiding from. I am so glad I went. I have been planning to attend my 20 year High School reunion since I was about 16 years old. It is the one long term goal from that time that I still had the ability to make good on, so I just had to go.

There is so much drama with these things. All the drama is in our own heads, but it is still very real. I wish more of my friends would have gone. I totally get why they didn't want to. I didn't really want to go either, but I felt I needed to go just to face all my lingering adolescent immaturities that aren't really serving me. I have such a better memory of High School now that I got to see everyone 20 years later. It is a nice massage to the optimist in me to see everyone get better with age. I love pleasant surprises like that. On a completely shallow side-note...what the hell? Everyone aged so well...it must be the inclement East Coast weather that keeps everyone out of the sun.

I was extremely anxious about attending. I wasn't exactly Miss Popular in High School, or for any period of my life, for that matter. I did my best to be the counter culture alternative thing back in the 80s, but I was so horribly awkward that I found myself in the reject pile of the reject pile. In all fairness, I had no fashion sense to speak of, just a ton of naivete and hair dye. I am so glad that I held on to my free spirit and all of that rejection was excellent training for the real world. The trauma of being called a freak wears off after hearing it five thousand or so times, and then the fear of hearing it again isn't motivation enough to keep me from doing what I want to do. I am sure I am as outgoing as I am because I genuinely don't care if people don't approve of me. I have a neurotic need to be liked, but I really couldn't care less if I am judged. OK, I care a little bit. I didn't want to advertise that I slept in my car the night before and got dressed in a train station bathroom twenty minutes before arriving, but hey...I can blog it fearlessly...judge away, my friends.

The "Oh Crap!" factor has begun to sink in. I consciously didn't plan this out very well, because I knew the difficulty of driving all over the country with my cat and without a lot of money wasn't enough of a reason for me to say no to a great idea. Now that I have officially begun, however, the fear of God has been put into me. I still don't know where I am going or how long it will take, or what to expect, but I am doing the best I can to focus on faith and living fully. Determination is a much greater resource than cash.

Today I am meeting up with Rachel Young and Krista Ghobrial. Rachel was my best friend all through elementary school and we lost touch 20 years ago. Krista and I met 19 years ago and have been close friends ever since, although I rarely get to see her. I saw quite a few Facebook friends at the reunion last night, and I tried to sneak a bunch of insurance snapshots, just in case I couldn't meet up with them later. I was told that was "cheating", so I have yet to start logging my official Facebook reunions. I am so glad that people care enough to call me out on these things! Seriously, I am.

Off to Manorhaven Park...will probably see the house I grew up in. I haven't had the courage to look at it since we sold it in 1994. Whew...lots ahead. Blog ya tomorrow.

If you are a Facebook or MySpace friend, consider this note sent to you...(I am experiencing technical problems with Facebook mail).

Hey! I am going to be in your neck of the woods soon, and I was wondering if you wanted to get together. I am extremely excited about a new project I am taking on...I am going to meet with every friend on Facebook and MySpace on an epic journey that will begin on June 27th. OK, my last name is Orpheus, so I am way overdue for an epic journey. :-)

So, why would I want to do this? I want to get to know the people in my life better, and put myself out there. I have been a bit of a hermit for the past year, and I am ready to come back with a bang.. OK, Facebook and MySpace is a funny place to start...but the friends I have there, virtual as they may be, make for quite a diverse bunch of people, and one hell of a road trip. Some of my Facebook friends are people I see every day, many are childhood friends I haven't seen in decades, and..quite frankly...there are a fair number of you that I met once or didn't even meet in person, yet we both felt the connection was at least worthy of confirming on Facebook...so that is good enough for me. I am completely serious, as long as you are a friend on Facebook or MySpace at the time I start my trip I would like to meet up.

I would like to bridge the gap between my "virtual" friends and my actual relationships. The main point for me is to get to know who you are, so every meet-up will look different. It could be as simple as me meeting you someplace, saying "hi" and "bye", or we could do something a lot more time-intensive and meaningful...I will leave it completely up to you. Whatever way you are comfortable connecting with me, I am very grateful for the opportunity to meet face to face, and whatever you bring to the experience. I am very open to doing something that reflects something that is important to you...if you have a hobby, or people in your life that are important to you I would love to get a glimpse at what matters most in your life during our visit.

How long will this take? I have no idea. I have about 250 friends I am sending this email to, and it depends on how many respond. I hope everyone responds! I do not know where a lot of people live, or how long or in what way my friends will choose to spend re-connecting...so, I truly have no idea how long I will be on the road. If you are willing to meet, please email me back soon with your city so I can begin to organize my trip. I am starting in New York tomorrow. Since I grew up in New York, I have a lot of friends there, and I will likely be in town for a while. I will have a clearer idea where I will be and when, as things move ahead. I will be blogging daily, so if you would like to see where I am, and what I am up to PLEASE log on to http://www.orpheusmeetsworld.blogspot.com/. I will be taking lots of pictures, and doing a lot of journaling, and I would love to have more companions on this journey through my ever-unfolding daily blog.

How am I going to pay for this? Good question....a bit of saved cash, credit cards and what is left of my retirement account if necessary. That is where I would truly appreciate your help. Don't worry, ha, ha, I am not going to ask for money. I set up my blog with advertising that can greatly help me with my costs if you log on to my blog and click the advertising links. If you have OCD you can see how many times you can click the advertising links in one minute... and then try to beat your record the following minute. Just kidding...but I am not kidding about checking out my progress on my daily blog and clicking the links. If you like my blog, please tell your friends. Remember, I don't start this project until tomorrow, so right now it isn't very impressive...but it will get pretty interesting, I am sure.

I am also cutting costs down by doing a little camping, and sleeping on couches whenever possible. I am traveling with my cat, George...so this makes lodging accommodations a bit more complicated, but I am sure we'll figure it out as we go. Any offers for a place to stay on our journey would be greatly appreciated.

I will keep you posted on my progress. I am looking forward to seeing you ;-)
Please send me a message with your address as soon as you can and I will be in touch when I have a better idea when I will be in your area.

Lots of love to you,

Julia Orpheus + George

Packed And Ready To Go!

Wow! I finally packed up my car and did the very best I could to pack for a road trip that I have no idea how long I will be on...what a bizarre activity. I have an 18 hour drive ahead from Atlanta to New York. My 20th High School reunion starts in about 24 hours, so I better start driving and stop blogging for now. Cheers!

I am so excited and nervous about what is ahead. I am about to take the most outrageous journey of my life. For anyone who knows me, this is quite a statement...don't worry, I haven't become a Scientologist, and I have still managed to avoid the persuasions of the Southern California UFO cults, (at least so far). I am about to take a trip across the country to individually meet each of the 240 or so "friends" I have on Facebook and on MySpace. It is overwhelming to think about, but oh so exciting and fabulous.



This is a very interesting time in my life. By interesting, I mean interesting and challenging. By challenging, I mean really sucky a lot of the time. It has been said that the most stressful things in life are the death of a spouse (or a divorce), a job change, and a move. I would imagine this was said by someone who got divorce, lost their job, and moved a bunch of times....like hmmm, me in the past year and a half. Losing all of those things in such a short period of time has forced me to do a lot of looking, questioning, re-examining, experimenting and reinventing and growing. I have heard that some people are able to grow by leaps and bounds without feeling alone... I haven't met any of these people. That is like running a marathon from beginning to end while balancing a spoon on your nose. It is possible, but it takes a level of finesse that I have not mastered, and I have not managed to keep company with anyone who has accomplished such things. The price of moving ahead in life is that you can't choose who will come with you. I missed a lot of people that I couldn't hold on to in the midst of all the change. I thought I was just losing my spouse in the divorce, but the list of friend casualties and feelings of being disconnected kept growing. Ironically, during these times, I would log on to Facebook or Myspace and see I had 200 something "friends". The "friends" ranged from childhood playmates, to people I see every day, to people I honestly do not remember ever meeting. There they were... all conveniently placed in alphabetical order on my social networking site of choice. These friends come complete with a profile photo, status updates, and often... pictures of their pets.



Somehow, I have found the audacity to want more. So... I have decided to meet these virtual friends face to face. I know this project will sound a bit bizarre to a lot of my friends. It sounded pretty bizarre to me too, but the longer I sat with the idea, the more excited and compelled I felt to do it. I would imagine some virtual friends might even de-friend me for being some kind of virtual loon. For those friends... I have to say, it gets weirder...I am bringing my cat. Somehow, George and I will find away to get over it. To those of you who share in my excitement... I have to say, thank you, and I sincerely hope George and I meet you in our travels.



This journey will officially begin with my High School reunion on June 27th. That gives me the next 7 days to drive from San Diego, pick up my cat in Atlanta, and drive to New York for my reunion. I have a lot of planning to do, a lot of driving to do, and a lot of deep breathes to take before my start date. Wish us luck! If you are a friend on Facebook, you'll be hearing from me soon. If you have any interest in meeting up with me, please drop me a message with your city so I can plan my trip. In the meantime, I will blog away.